Overview
The “gift of desperation” is a term coined in Alcoholics Anonymous circles to describe a desire to change after an alcoholic hit a bottom in which they lost, or were about to lose, something important enough as to inspire intense desperation. The premise of the term is that most alcoholics are unable to change until they experience consequences so severe that the resulting hopelessness tears at one’s self-will and ego, forcing open the possibility of following the AA Steps to surrender to a Higher Power. It’s not a coincidence that the acronym for “gift of desperation” is GOD. The gift of desperation is often believed to precede a spiritual awakening that allows a Higher Power’s will to operate through an individual.
History and Etymology
According to the AA Book Club, the term “gift of desperation” was born out of language from the official AA literature, namely Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (often called the 12&12). The book doesn’t use the phrase, but the AA Book Club credits it with the roots that prompted the phrase to emerge from meetings and conventions:
“The sponsor explicitly details the inadequacies of will power in fighting this disease. In describing the progression of his own drinking history, he may be able to convince a relatively high-bottom person that the latter’s habits show some of the same traits. Seeing the hopelessness of our situation, we are said to become “openminded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be.” Thus was born the now-common phrase “gift of desperation”, and the path to Step Two made clear.” 1
From the Step One chapter of the book:
“We know that little good can come to any alcoholic who joins A.A. unless he has first accepted his devastating weakness and all its consequences. Until he so humbles himself, his sobriety—if any—will be precarious. Of real happiness he will find none at all. Proved beyond doubt by an immense experience, this is one of the facts of A.A. life”
It’s hopefully easy to see how, with a framing like this that emphasizes the necessity of rock bottom, the idea of a gift of desperation as the mechanism of bouncing back can take rot.
Commentary
Insofar as the “gift of desperation” is a version of “playing the tape” backwards and forwards, I think there’s a lot of merit to the idea. Bundling together a reminder of a horrific event or powerfully shameful feeling with the compulsion to use can make it easier to give oneself the motivation to abstain. It might even serve as an inciting incident for Behavioral Activation